It's time for another repost of something I posted to eC some time ago! This time, it's one of my favouritest IM conversations ever:

(20:48:12) Person: Excuse me, do you know anything about falconry?
(20:48:47) General Wesc: Why, yes! I raise and train falcons for a living. I am a falconer by trade.
(20:49:31) Person: Oh I'm glad I asked! I want to be a future falconer, I just can't find any useful information on the internet so far. I was wondering if you could help?
(20:50:09) General Wesc: http://everything2.org/?node=Falconry
(20:50:44) General Wesc: 'Acquiring a falconry license in the US requires an aspiring falconer to serve as an apprentice to a federally licensed falconer for a minimum of two years, take and pass a written test, and have their facilities and equipment inspected to make sure that they meet minimum federal and state standards for falconry.' (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falconry)
(20:52:55) Person: Thank you! I asked because I have always admired birds of prey, and red tailed hawks most of all, so the zoo saw me outside with the birds. Now I'm pretty glad I work at a zoo because they came up with the idea for a falconer to come in with his red tailed hawk and teach me a little about the sport. At the time I wasn't sure what I was going to do with my life, and I studied falconry, deciding it was something I definitely wanted to do. Thanks again.
(20:53:37) General Wesc: No problem. I'm also a certified everything-knower. I am a know-everythinger by trade.
(20:54:20) Person: I'm not. (:> So, if I have any left-over questions, can I come to you?
(20:55:15) General Wesc: You could, but I know next to nothing about falconer. I exagerate my accomplishments for a living. I am a professional accomplishment exagerator.

And a bit later:
(21:01:26) Different Person: You're a falconer, right? Would you mind answering a few of my questions? *hopes she isn't getting annoying*
(21:01:46) General Wesc: No, I'm not a falconer.
(21:02:14) General Wesc: I'm mre interested in shrubberies. Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
(21:01:26) Different Person: ...Oh. Well, never mind then, unless you still happen to know a lot on the subject of falconry. And I'll ask you if I have a question on shrubberies.

'Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.'

Okay, some of you may already know about how I've had to teach Firefox' the British dictionary all sorts of unusual words it didn't know, such as I'm⁰ and Mom and Firefox¹. Well, I was writing about a 'Sergeant' a few days ago and I misspelled it as 'Seargent'. Stupid me. Luckily, good ol' Firefox knew what I meant to say Sargent. Yes, that's right, Firefox' only suggestion² for Seargent is some Italian painter from a hundred years ago. This name, they know, but not their own.

Firefox stores my additions in a plaintext file, so if necessary I can take a decent dictionary and parse it into persdict.dat. I don't know what effect this will have on speed or memory usage. Actually, I could probably just make my own dictionary separate from persdict.dat. I'd have to figure out the Affix file, though.

⁰ I actually see this in their dictionary, but for some reason, it was marked as misspelled until I added it myself.

¹ For those wondering, here's my current persdict.dat, commaised:
NaNoWriMo, math, humourous, Ogg, eeMail, Draega, pyromaniacal, nontheist, Fatboy, pomeranian, ruckus, eC, may've, Firefox, username, katana, GMail, slutty, AOL, eem, Zounds, sophomore, Google, Blogger, OMG, usernames, blog, mom, sterilise, toolbar, Yankovic, vulcanologist, Where've, chav, Why'd, quait, Nefeara, we'd've, Internalism, AOLspeak, Everything's, Tanenbaum, Crips, permalink, How'd, nutcase, what'll, eCritters, I'm, goth, Flaillip, long's, Sophomore, towelettes, Elrond, tad, Winamp's, dumbass, recognise, Firefox's, geek, Quaker, Pesce, IM, wanna, chowder, Realising, MSN, unschooling, food'll, cypherpunks, VRML, emo, Physicalism, ECU, Badfinger, Rammstein, Debian, Universalists, burrito, Yay, MxPx, snuck, NOFX, Wesc, VeggieTales, Whoot, Wikipedia, Mom, infinitly, NC, fantabulous, Tanenbaums, codswallop, pissy, IRC, genwesc, Strawhert, Cardassian, marvy, begetting, Chatspeak, Provolone, Elinks, favourite, military's, dang, olds, pomiferous, Luca, Ramones, Why's, okay, Nyrial, perfit, gonna, paddleboats, Galeon, Zeka, Kaceem, Okay, Bizkit, paddleboat, FreeNode, ACLU, bear's, Paddleboats, online, blogging, anymore, Pigface, Hilfa, geekdom, Chocowinity, Reliabilism, WMP, nutjobs, hollered, CJ, lkbm, STFU, sesquipedalian, sudoku, miso, plaintext, undead, Gorillaz, asshole

² I lie. Firefox also suggests 'Se argent' and 'sear gent'.

(Potentially relevant link)

Bloodflick.

You've all had the experience: you've just killed a passer-by with your katana and now it's covered in blood. What to do? These things are, of course, quite difficult to clean, and leaving the blood on their is not an option. It will not only destroy the shine, but will cause corrosion.

Perform this simple manoeuvre! Hold the katana in your right hand, with the hilt close to your hip and the tip pointing down to your left. Slash into the air and watch the blood fly off in an incarnadine arc.

If you're lucky and well-skilled, your katana may now be safely sheathed without inviting damage to the blade or the noto. If not, you will still have to wipe if off.

You are now well on your way to being an Iaido master.. Use this skill only for good.

(Potentially relevant link)

I just thought I oughta mention that for my NaNoWriMo, I have a separate blog. It's full of wit and wisdom and cleverness and nothing at all really, but just let me dream, okay?