It's time for another repost of something I posted to eC some time ago! This time, it's one of my favouritest IM conversations ever:
(20:48:12) Person: Excuse me, do you know anything about falconry?
(20:48:47) General Wesc: Why, yes! I raise and train falcons for a living. I am a falconer by trade.
(20:49:31) Person: Oh I'm glad I asked! I want to be a future falconer, I just can't find any useful information on the internet so far. I was wondering if you could help?
(20:50:09) General Wesc: http://everything2.org/?node=Falconry
(20:50:44) General Wesc: 'Acquiring a falconry license in the US requires an aspiring falconer to serve as an apprentice to a federally licensed falconer for a minimum of two years, take and pass a written test, and have their facilities and equipment inspected to make sure that they meet minimum federal and state standards for falconry.' (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falconry)
(20:52:55) Person: Thank you! I asked because I have always admired birds of prey, and red tailed hawks most of all, so the zoo saw me outside with the birds. Now I'm pretty glad I work at a zoo because they came up with the idea for a falconer to come in with his red tailed hawk and teach me a little about the sport. At the time I wasn't sure what I was going to do with my life, and I studied falconry, deciding it was something I definitely wanted to do. Thanks again.
(20:53:37) General Wesc: No problem. I'm also a certified everything-knower. I am a know-everythinger by trade.
(20:54:20) Person: I'm not. (:> So, if I have any left-over questions, can I come to you?
(20:55:15) General Wesc: You could, but I know next to nothing about falconer. I exagerate my accomplishments for a living. I am a professional accomplishment exagerator.
And a bit later:
(21:01:26) Different Person: You're a falconer, right? Would you mind answering a few of my questions? *hopes she isn't getting annoying*
(21:01:46) General Wesc: No, I'm not a falconer.
(21:02:14) General Wesc: I'm mre interested in shrubberies. Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
(21:01:26) Different Person: ...Oh. Well, never mind then, unless you still happen to know a lot on the subject of falconry. And I'll ask you if I have a question on shrubberies.