Tuesday, June 28, 2005

(Potentially relevant link)

Intended more seriously than my previous games, this is a Javascript-based Text Adventure Game. It's still alpha (my stuff never leaves alpha; I'm too lazy), but fairly functional. It can't yet compete with Hamlet: The Text Adventure (Or Robin Johnson's 'The NONDESCRIPT Text Adventure Engine for Javascript', which Hamlet uses), but it's a nice start for no more than a couple hours work. Most of the time was probably spent writing the example game.

I was writing a Perl-based engine last year, but it got lost when my hard disk died.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

(Potentially relevant link)

I friend mentioned how he'd like to make a text-based GTO game:

I have this odd urge to make a text-based RPG version of Grand Theft Auto. Something like this:

Your Ubercar 3500X is on Fubar Road facing east. The corner of Crime Street is twenty-five ahead on the right. There are three pedestriants directly to your left.
> turn into crime street
Your Ubercar 3500X is on Crime Street facing south. There is an EvenBetterCar 9000N in the parking lot to your left.
> steal evenbettercar 9000N
You stole the EvenBetterCar 9000N. It is facing Crime Street facing South.
> drive south
You drive 50 feet south. There are ten pedestriants in the area, six on your left and four on your right. A police car is chasing you.
> bump police car
You bump into the police car. It takes 2% damage; your EvenBettarCar 9000N's armor keeps your damage to 0%.
> drive south
You drive 50 feet south. Two police men get out of their police car and approach your car.
> run police men ove
You run one of the police men over, but fail to hit the other. He advances toward your car and forces you out. You've been arrseted.

It would be mostly for parody, but with more-or-less complete game play.

Then again, the name Grand Text Auto is apparently taken. Maybe I won't do it.
(Posted by Leif K-Brooks).

This inspired me to make a little Javascript racing game. Future versions may include:
* Other people driving.
* More gruesome deaths (your engine can overheat, but currently that's no problem)
* Better controls (this really should be command-line based. :-)
* Better gameplay (turning all the time is boring. It needs more.)
* More!

But for now, here's the alpha.

Initially, it was going to be much simpler, which is what was so amusing about it. This was my original idea:
* You could accellerate.
* You could decellerate.
* If you went fast enough, you'd win.
No skill involved. No reason not to accellerate as much as possible. Just keep typing 'go faster'. Truly, that would have been fantastic. But then I had to get fancy.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

I'm not the ambassador to Chad. You are.

You need to learn French if you don't already know it well. They speak French in Chad. Or maybe they just write it. It's pronounced completely differently from how it's spelled anyway.

You have to wear green always. Green underwear, green shoes, and green hats. Yes. Never fewer than eight hats on your head at a time. It could be worse: my brother has to wear a green cape.

Bring the bug spray. Chad is occationally plagued by locusts.

Don't be old. Only 2.8% of the population is over the age of 65. I think maybe they eat the old, weak people.

Read the news papers: all public service announcements are outsourced to Germany, but you'll be speaking French. Or writing French. If you want to learn when the unscheduled natural disasters will be occuring, you'll need to study the papers. They're written in French, because Chadians speak French. Or maybe they just write it. Newspapers are written anyhoo.

Get a lot of sleep. Chad is in the southern hemisphere, so it's day there when it's night in England, and the Sun never sets on England. Perpetual darkness means you may as well just sleep all the time. I should be sleeping right now. But instead I'm posting a bunch of poppycock about your new job.

Your salary will be paid in the official Chadian currency: XAF. It's X-rated, so you can only use it to buy booze and porn. I recommend the booze. Porn can be found for free online.

A few years back, there were five times more mobile phones than 'normal' phones. don't bring your own: just steal one. You'll have diplomatic immunity.

Lose weight. One of the primary industries is meatpacking. You don't want them packing you.

Don't wear jewelry near the military personel. Chad spends about 0.03% as much money on military as the US does. The soldiers may be seeking alternative sources of revenue. Luckily, the government couldn't afford to buy them real guns.

(Chadians hate curious people.)

I wrote this on the blackboard before intro CS once. Well, I was less concise:

Christmas = Halloween
dec 25 = oct 31
The professor read it out loud, said 'okay' and then erased it.

He now teaches IT.

Yeah, the teacher who'd capitalise the first letter in 'if', 'while', 'for', &c. when doing C++ on tests.

June 25...June is named for Juno who married Jupiter who is joviual=happy. You're happy at Christmas. Christmas is Dec 25. Dec 25 = Oct 31.

Today is Halloween. Dress up as the KISS army, go out in public that way, get photos of you eating in a fancy restaurant, put them online, and post a comment. Win my respect.

Of course, the entire month is Halloween. So do it for the next few days. Yesindeedy.

An old node from E2. Posslby E as well, though I don't believe so.

I forget all the details. My memory seems to be comflating it with Saige's 'one third of all pregnancies end in miscarriage' pro-choice commentary. I replied with '[THEWeirdo] is [third] after [General Wesc|me] and [Tem42] but he isn't dead, [more's the pity.]' It now resides in my Node Heaven, being the lowest-reputationed writeup at a dishonourable -13.

On a more interesting note, perhaps, Saige has the coolectly coloured hair I've seen for some time.

Friday, June 03, 2005

(Potentially relevant link)

I finally put up my Charlie Bone Encylopedia. It needs much work. For starters, I want to provide ASCII-art family trees. That, however, would require more programming-thought than I'm ready to give it.

Seems like it shouldn't be terribly difficult, and doing it by hand sucks. I also need it to generate the full relationship list, as I don't want to have to add links between all the kids and their parents, when the parents are known only as Mr./Mrs. [kid's last name].

I'm so lazy.