How to install Adobe Acrobat 8 free trial

1. Sign up at their website.
2. Wait for the email message with the link to arrive.
3. Follow the link in the email message.
4. Sign in to their website.
5. Select the language and click download.
6. Select 'Open', because it's an installer. You don't need to save it to the hard drive for reuse later.
7. Wait a bit over half an hour for the 250MB installer to download.
8. Run the installer.
9. Wait as it spends ten minutes installing
10. Have it tell you 'ZOMG you don't have SP2! Install SP2 and try again.'
11. Curse Adobe's name.¹
12. Go to the Windows XP SP2 update site.
13. Select Download SP2 from Microsoft Update.
14. Have it update to the newest version of the updating software.
15. Restart Windows.
16. Go to the Windows XP SP2 update site.
17. Select Download SP2 from Microsoft Update.
18. Have it check for updates.
19. Select the twenty updates it has for you.
20. Wait as it downloads and installs the twenty updates.²
21. Restart Windows.
22. Go to the Windows XP SP2 update site.
23. Select Download SP2 from Microsoft Update.
24. Wait an hour while it downloads SP2 (100MB). (Note: if you're like me and don't think your bandwidth is the major limit, use this time to also redownload Adobe's 250MB installer, this time saving it. Don't worry: the Adobe thing will finish downloading before SP2.)
25. Wait half an hour Wait an hour Wait a bloody long time while SP2 installs.
26. Restart Windows.
27. Turn off the Firewall because you don't know what ports to unblock and it'll just piss off the non-techies who hired you. :-(
28. Run the Adobe installer. This takes ten minutes or so.
29. Have the Adobe installer run the Adobe installer. (WTF? I don't know. Maybe it had to use the basic installer to install the real installer.) This will take a while. Use this time to update some of the other computers in the office.
30. Go home. Everyone else did several hours ago.

Aside: Opera BLogger Beta does not support Opera 8.53. Not only can you not preview, it allows you to post your post, but only the title and tags get posted. Actual text is blank.

¹ Though you should also admit tyo yourself that you (or your employers) deserve it for not having SP2 already installed.

² Including: 'Critical Update for Windows: This item updates the Bookshelf Symbol 7 font included in some Microsoft products. The font has been found to contain unacceptable symbols. After you install this item, you may have to restart your computer.'
Because unacceptable symbols are critically unacceptable.