Lame CROP Walk Multipost(Potentially relevant link)
My last attempt to solicit exorbitant quantities of money from my readers resulted in a grand total of 0DKK (which is still equal to 0USD, even with the improved exchange rate). Alas! Alack!
Okay, you people refuse to give me money for posting on my blog. Makes sense I haven't been posting on my blog.
So here's what I'ma do: I'm going to walk 5km (so far! I know! They make me sign a waiver and everything in case I die!) and you rich people will donate money to help feed the poor starving people who also have to walk 5km each day to get food.
WTF? No, really, that's the logic. *shrug*
Money goes to such-and-such. Notice how I'm not on that list. How sad. And I'm the one doing all the work. (A leisurely walk counts as work, right? No? Then I'll walk really, really fast. Usually I'm the first walker to finish. Some people run. Cheaters.) Okay, I do get something out of it: a t-shirt1 and some food.
PlayLast year the UUCG teens performed a CROP Walk miniplay showing how to ask for donations. To paraphrase (and skipping the intro):
Wrong way:Nicolas: 'Hey, do you want to support the...oh, never mind'
*walks off, leaving the potential donor (my dad) shrugging most hammishly*
Right way:Lilani: 'Hey would you like to donate money to fight hunger?'
Feryl: 'Sure! Here's money!'
Lilani: 'Gee whiz, thanks mister!' (No, that wasn't quite how it happened in the script, but improv comes naturally to the most witty of us.)
Scary thoughtSometimes potential donors ask stupid questions.
Right way with scarinessWhat's-her-name (d'oh!): 'Hey would you like to donate money to fight hunger?'
Potential donor: Who? What? Why?
What's-her-name: The CROP Walk is blah blah blah.
Potential donor: Why should we donate money to fight hunger elsewhere when we have hunger right here in North Carolina?
What's-her-name: That's a good question!2 Blah blah blah, one quarter of the money blah blah blah.
Potential donor: Okay, then.
Top fundraisers!I was just looking at the Greenville, NC CROP walk page and I'm listed as the #2 fundraiser. Because I pledged 20USD for my own walk. Karon O'Sullivan (#1) has 230.00USD. Ohnoes, I'm losing! Quickly, go donate 210.01USD to my walk! Go on, you know you want to enter your credit card number into some strange website. Who wouldn't?
'5km is nothing.'Fine, donate money and comment telling me to do it twice, and I will. 10km. Wow, so very far.
1 In 2004(?), they had extra t-shirts, so they in 2005(?) they reused 2004 t-shirts, and pretty much no one notices.
2 No, that's a bloody idiotic question.